


Oh, Romeo.

by Gabethebabe



Category: The Song of Achilles - Madeline Miller
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Theatre, Happy, M/M, Romeo and Juliet References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-21
Updated: 2015-12-21
Packaged: 2018-05-08 02:48:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5480426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gabethebabe/pseuds/Gabethebabe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He read the lines with so much passion and- wait. He wasn’t reading from the script at all. The idiot was sitting here on stage in front of thousands of people and proclaiming his love for him! Gods dammit. He hoped Mr. Dionysus wasn’t paying attention. <br/>Or; a theater kid au written at 3 a.m.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oh, Romeo.

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by the saying “take the most stereotypical thing you can think of, and twist it to make it gay.”   
> Who says that you ask? Me. I say that. Make everything gay 2k16.   
> This kinda jumps around a lot, I’m sorry. Also written and edited within the span of 3 hours (extra sorry).

September was, without a doubt, Achilles’ favorite month. This was because every September his school announced two very important things: yearbook superlatives and the cast of the school’s yearly Shakespearian production. As a senior this year he was certain of getting two things: the lead in R _omeo and Juliet_ and being named 50% of the school’s cutest couple. Patroclus would obviously be named the other 50% of said superlative and most likely the Mercutio to his Romeo.

Or so he thought.

He and Patroclus did end up winning cutest couple. Between their constant make-out sessions and the way they constantly talked about one-another, there really wasn’t a couple around who could compete with how sickeningly cute they were.

As for Romeo and Mercutio, however, Mr. Dionysus had different plan.

“I have been teaching theater at this school for nearly 30 years. I have been doing the same versions of the same plays by the same author for 30 years. It’s 2015 and it’s time for a change.” The director stopped to take a long swig from his coffee cup. Everyone knew it was filled with wine. Nobody cared. “In honor of our two best performers being the first gay couple to win cutest couple at this school, I think we should change some things up.”

Dionysus took this moment to pause for dramatic effect, so Achilles took this moment to kiss Patroclus.

“We won’t be doing _Romeo and Juliet_ this year. Instead, we’ll be doing _Romeo and Julian_ : Tragic teenage lovers torn apart by a conflict much greater and older than them.”

With that Dionysus left to do what he normally did: get drunk in his office. After he left, Achilles turned to Patroclus beaming with joy. Somewhere behind them a bratty sophomore named Deidameia complained about not getting to be Juliet. Achilles simply ignored her and continued to bask in his own joy.

“You and I get to be lovers! Just like in real life!” He leaned forward and covered Patroclus’ face in kisses.

Patroclus laughed and pushed him back like one would an over excited dog licking their face. “You don’t know that we’ll both be picked.”

“Of course I do. Why else would decide to go about this route and not pick us?” Achilles intertwined his and Patroclus’ hands.

“I guess you’re right.” Patroclus sighed deeply. “Your mother will be happy at least.”

Achilles was right, again. No one else even bothered trying out for Romeo or Julian. Patroclus didn’t really pay attention to whom else got what part. The second he’d been given his script his performance anxiety went into overdrive and the perfectionist within also came out to play. He spent most of his free time reading over his lines trying to perfectly memorize them.

Achilles, on the other hand, barely looked at his script outside of rehearsal.

“You do know that the only way I’m remembering half of my lines is by memorizing q’s from your lines, right?” Patroclus mentioned one afternoon. The two were cuddled up on Achilles’ bed watching some cheesy high school movie.

“It’ll be fine, babe. The number one rule of theater is--“

“--If you’re going to do it wrong, do it wrongly with confidence so that no one will know.” Patroclus interrupted, doing his best Dionysus impersonation.  

“Exactly.” Achilles smiled and found another excuse to kiss Patroclus. “Besides…why worry when you can scurry on top of me.”

Patroclus rolled his eyes. “I hate you so much.”

“Love you too, bae.” Achilles went to kiss him again before being playfully shoved away.

Two weeks, countless Patrochilles kisses, and way too man puns later opening night finally arrived. Backstage was wild mess of period costumes, last minute rehearsals, and props.

The first few scenes of the play went by seamlessly. For all his lack of practicing Achilles had made good on memorizing his lines. The most nerve wracking scene had been towards the beginning, when Romeo and Julian met at the party and kissed (aka Achilles and Patroclus kissing on stage in front of 2,000 people). The two boys ended up getting a little lost in the kiss and let it go on for a few seconds too long. Patroclus prayed that Thetis wouldn’t crucify him once they were off stage.

After that was the balcony scene. Patroclus had thought this to be the easiest scene. After all his and Achilles’ secret shame was the modern version of _Romeo and Juliet_ (though Patroclus really just liked staring at Leonardo Di C  aprio’s face). It would seem that Achilles had other plans, though.

The scene started off normally, both going by their lines to a “t”. They had good chemistry on stage just as well as off- they played off one-another well and made the audience swoon. Patroclus tried his best, but Achilles really stole the show. As he looked down at Achilles from the faux balcony prop he couldn’t help but give a dreamy sigh. He read the lines with so much passion and- _wait_. He wasn’t reading from the script at all. The idiot was sitting here on stage in front of thousands of people and proclaiming his love for him! God dammit. He hoped Mr. Dionysus wasn’t paying attention.

“For you my most beloved,

 I would eat the world raw.

 I would slay entire armies in your name.

Would you, my most handsome love,

He who puts the stars in the sky for me,

Do the same for me? Doth thou love run just as deep?

If so than do not bid me goodnight,

For it would kill me to part with you until morrow.”

Patroclus was flustered, flabbergasted even. He had known that Achilles loved him, but he hadn’t know that it was to that extent. He stuttered for a brief moment before continuing the scene.

“Sweet, so would I:

Yet I should kill thee with much cherishing.

Good night, good night! parting is such

sweet sorrow,

That I shall say good night till it be morrow.”

Patroclus exited at the end of his line and ran directly to where Achilles would exit for intermission. If he blushed any more he might burst a blood vessel. Achilles walked off stage and over to Patroclus in time to the crowd’s applauds.

Now that they were hidden by the intermission curtain, Patroclus grabbed Achilles by the collar pushed him against the nearest wall. His trademark stupid smirk never left Achilles’ face.

“God, I hate you.”  Patroclus leaned in and pressed their lips together. After a moment- or three-one of their fellow cast members began to cough uncomfortably, a sign for them to stop.

“I love you too.” Patroclus rolled his eyes.

“What happened to ‘don’t worry, babe. I got all my lines memorized, babe.’?”

“Well…I had most of them. Seeing you up there in those cute stockings really took it out of me.” Achilles winked. Patroclus rolled his eyes again. Achilles said that if he kept rolling his eyes one day they’d just fall right out his head. “Remember what I said? Speak with confidence and you’re never wrong.”

“But you were wrong.” Patroclus paused for a moment. Somewhere around them movement started and they were being called to get in their places for act III. “Did you really mean what you said out there?”

“Every word.”

“You disgust me.” Patroclus rolled his eyes yet again and pecked Achilles on the lips before running off to get in place. He heard Achilles shout out a “love you too” as he ran off and was thankful that his boyfriend always picked up on his sarcasm, least he constantly come off as an asshole.

The rest of the play featured a bit more of Achilles’ improve, but went smoothly all the same. During his death scene, Patroclus made sure to fall just so, so that his head was in the nape of Achilles’ neck. He gave him small kisses as the play concluded. When the play finally ended the cast received a standing ovation. Patroclus and Achilles shared one last kiss on stage as the crowd applauded.

“I think I could get used to this.” Achilles murmured.

“I’ll be sure to add a few tracks of applauds into our make-out playlist.”

Achilles turned to give him a playful glare. “I hate you.”

“Watch it, Romeo, that’s my line.”

**Author's Note:**

> Also I’m so sorry on not updating TtH or HTtTCotI. I got the DA:I Trespasser DLC and Dragon Age: Origins as early Christmas presents, and between that and finals my life as fallen down into a deep spiral of nothing. Believe it or not, I AM working on the new chapter for HTtTCotI currently! It’s engrossed to become over 5,000 words. Save me from myself.   
> Fun fact: the “cheesy high school movie” I mentioned was probably G.B.F. which is an amazing movie.   
> Thanks for reading this I hope you liked it!!!


End file.
